Most teenagers will go through a phase in their lives wherein they can say that their relationship with their parents isn’t that great. If you have never gone through this phase and can genuinely say that you have a good relationship with your parents, then hats off to you and your parents. But for many, that isn’t the case at all. Oftentimes, teenagers will find themselves bickering with their parents every few minutes into the conversation while others often escalate to an argument.
These are all clear signs of a rough and sour parent-and-child relationship. Of course, no one likes to be a part of this relationship, going through the same cycle of bickering and arguments every day. It can get exhausting for both parties. If this is the relationship you have ongoing with your parents, we are here to give you a few tips to help improve it.
It’s easier to look outside than inside, which would mean it’s also easier to spot the mistakes by others than your own. Spotting your own mistakes may be the hardest. Most of the time when someone is asked after they had had an argument, they will blame the other party instead of finding the fault in themselves as well.
However, whether or not you are aware, in most cases, both parties are usually at fault. Sometimes, they are not of equal fault but still the same. It means that at some point, you also have a share of the blame when it comes to the sour relationship between you and your parents. And that also means you also have to fix the damage on your end.
You can start off with something that you can easily control, such as changing your attitude towards your parents. If you are extremely frustrated with their attitude as well or think they are bossy when they are asking you for favors such as washing the dishes or taking out the trash, it’s time to also learn to lengthen your patience. It would be good to take a deep breath instead of lashing out to them immediately with your frustrations. What is given will also be received well so when you show your parents a great deal of patience, you will also notice they will be more patient with you as well.
You wouldn’t truly know a person not until you spend a significant amount of time with them. The same goes for your parents. Time and patience are needed when it comes to creating and nurturing a long-lasting relationship between you and your parents. By spending more time with them, you can get to speak with the more and open up about what’s ruining your relationship with them?
But you would probably think that going out or hanging out with your parents can be extremely boring. They are of a completely different age group and different interests from you. However, going out with your parents can be a lot of fun as well if you put an effort to plan on the activities as well. You can plan trips to the amusement park or beach or anything that revolves around the word fun. Many wonderful memories can be talked about for years to come and will be forged more if you bother to make the same effort as well.
Your parents may not be in the same age bracket as you but they also know that activities such as can be a form of fun that will help both of you to bond and spend more time together.
When talking about life experiences, your parents definitely have more. It’s true that your parents have been around longer than you have and like you, they have also gone through years and struggles that match your own. They also have grown into adulthood and had gone through the same struggles as you.
When opening up to your parents, you may find that they only see the negative in your life. This can come off as nagging at times and very much annoying. It can be frustrating to live your own life based on your parents’ experiences. While they have gone through the same stages as you, it’s not always the same situation. However, you will find that their experiences also warrant the advice they may give you to be valid. In fact, some of the advice they may give you will save you a lot of trouble and consequences. And you have to remember that no parent wants their children to do badly in life.
There is a famous quote that goes, “Nobody is perfect.” And believe it or not, this also applies to your parents. Children may expect their parents to be somewhat perfect and hold them in higher regard. They expect their parents to be able to get them whatever they want and do whatever they want to make them happy. However, like everybody else, they also have their own shortcomings. They aren’t mere robots that are meant to perform perfectly like they are programmed to. They are humans, after all.
They also make mistakes and say things they don’t mean. Accepting that they make mistakes and have their own flaws will help in understanding them better as well.
In order to build a positive and healthy relationship with your parents, it’s also better for you to change your thoughts about it. It’s easy to paint someone the villain in your life when you find the fault in them but if you change your mindset and first think of them positively, it also changes your relationship with them.
To be more accepting, you also need to watch your thoughts and pay attention to their stronger points and their positive traits rather than focusing on the ones you don’t like. This way, you will fix your mind and think of them in a more positive light. For example, if your parents have the attitude of going to work every day to provide you with comfortable means, isn’t that admirable rather than thinking they love their job more than you?
You are not the only one being judged here. You may think your parents are very judgmental of you and your decisions, but you also are judging them just the same. It also feels bad to not be accepted because of your flaws and mistakes and the same goes for your parents. It is their first-time being parents and every child is different, so they will also have different experiences in raising you and your siblings.
They are bound to commit mistakes. Keep an open mind and accept their mistakes and if you can, open up about how their mistakes made you feel. If you can make up for the mistakes you have made, your parents are also entitled to do the same.
No one wants to feel unappreciated for all the efforts they have put into a relationship, least of all your parents. They have been with you from the moment you were born and they have sacrificed a lot in order to give you a good life. Many of these sacrifices can’t be seen and almost seems to go over your head but they are there. It’s very hard to notice them if you are not sensitive enough.
But it’s not difficult to appreciate them even if you don’t see them. Show your parents love as well. This is also a form of gratitude and appreciation for all the things they av done for you. There are also many ways to do so like cooking them a meal or buying their favorite sweets. It can also be inviting them to the movies or spending a day with them. It’s not only you that has to feel their love and effort. A relationship is a two-way process, you also have to show them your love and appreciation.
Relationships vary from family to family. What works for other families may not work with yours. However, the tips above are mainly generalized ones that will help you mend your bond and make it even stronger. The memories you forge with your parents will take you far and they will be something you will keep forever. A good relationship with your parents will also help your confidence and self-esteem, knowing someone has your back and love you.
However, you also have to remember that it may take a little more time and a lot of effort to create an unbreakable bond with your parents. Sometimes, you may be well off your teenage years to be able to see your relationship with them blossom healthily. As such, remember to also put in the effort in the relationship. Your parents and you should work together to make sure the healthy relationship lasts.
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