How to Help Your Child If They Fail Their Exams
Parents’ desire for their children to succeed is only natural. This is particularly true for their tests, which are one of the most important things that can guarantee a child’s academic success and assist them in reaching their aspirations for a promising future. Not only do parents feel discouraged when their children obtain poor exam scores, but so do the children themselves. However, many parents in Singapore respond badly to their child’s academic performance due to the pressure to perform well, which increases their worry and may even traumatize certain kids.
If we want our kids to do better and perform better next time around, this isn’t the way to go. In situations like this, parents should understand that their child is also thinking negatively about their grades and that focusing solely on their negative thoughts won’t benefit either party. Negative parental reactions can make children feel worse and increase their emotions of embarrassment and disappointment. They may even begin to question their own value.
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Why students may fail their exams?
Even with affirmative responses to having been able to study for their exams, there are still instances wherein the child can flunk their exams. Many intelligent and generally studious students have suffered from exam blues (or red marks for this matter) even with all the measures they took to prepare for their exams. So, this brings us to the question, if they are prepared for the exams, why did they fail? Several factors can contribute to this such as:
• Exam anxiety
Everyone has been there. Performance anxiety can affect anyone from students to even adults. This can be characterized by symptoms such as nausea, migraines, and accelerated heartbeat and can even be described as “butterflies in the stomach”. Exam anxiety can cause the student to lose their focus on the exam resulting in them not doing well at all and some even can’t finish their exams altogether.
• Exam strategies
While some exams still rely on what the student should know, there are still some parts of the exam that tackle the critical thinking skills of students. Some exam strategies can be the cause of why students receive low marks. In answering exams, students shouldn’t only focus on memorization alone and should be able to incorporate other techniques, especially with time management as it’s common for students to fail because they haven’t finished their exams.
• Low self-confidence
Another aspect that can trigger anxiety and result in lower marks for students is the matter of their self-confidence. A teacher once told us the first step in taking an exam is to calm yourself and the next is to understand that you know more than what you let on. Some students can be terrorized by their fear of failing their exams or not having enough confidence in their knowledge and skills and doubt themselves. When they start to do this, understanding questions becomes harder and harder. And so, even before the test wraps up, they will already think they are a failure without utilizing the skills they have developed.
• Too much self-confidence
At the far end of the spectrum, there are also students who have way too much confidence in their skills that it borderlines on arrogance. Because of this, they will think that they already will get the best scores in their exams and will not take the measures to ensure they can actually achieve them.
• Improper learning materials
Sometimes, it isn’t just internal factors that play a part in a student’s failure. Some student can fail their exams because they used the wrong study materials or used the wrong techniques to study. This can range from using flashcards to memorizing when the child is an auditory learner or even when a child studies notes that are unorganized or illegible. It may seem like a joke but many students miss the correct answer because they misinterpret what is written in their notes.
How to help your child if they fail their exams?
Sometimes, it isn’t just internal factors that play a part in a student’s failure. Some student can fail their exams because they used the wrong study materials or used the wrong techniques to study. This can range from using flashcards to memorizing when the child is an auditory learner or even when a child studies notes that are unorganized or illegible. It may seem like a joke but many students miss the correct answer because they misinterpret what is written in their notes.
1. Don’t blame the child
Parents should first avoid placing blame and finger-pointing on their child for failing tests. It makes sense that parents could be furious over the exam results. This may lead them to highlight their child’s behaviors that they believe are responsible, such as playing after school, watching TV, or not getting up as early as they would have liked.
Children don’t go to exams with the intention to fail for the fun of it. It’s important to understand that students don’t fail on purpose. Parents should therefore take the initiative to move past this and provide their children with constructive support rather than placing the blame on the child. Yes, it’s easier said than done, but once the findings are in, parents are essentially powerless. Blaming the child for what they may have done and hurling nasty remarks at them is pointless because that child has already failed. The child may experience increased stress and anxiety as a result of this treatment. Parents should assist their children in getting back on their feet rather than making them feel bad about what has already happened.
2. Don’t compare them to other students
When a child fails, parents frequently respond by comparing them with other pupils or even the child’s siblings who have performed better or are high achievers. Why is the child not benefiting from this? Exam failure has already damaged the child’s self-esteem, but they would feel worse if they compared them to other kids. In addition to feeling depressed about failing the tests, the kid can also believe that their parents are ashamed of them and consider them a letdown because they aren’t meeting their standards.
Every child is different from one another and they have different strengths and weaknesses. Comparing a child with another will only upset the child even more and can even make their already low self-confidence even lower. This can also lead to serious mental health issues.
3. Communicate with the child
Speaking with the child can be quite beneficial, particularly after they have had setbacks. This is as beneficial to parents as it is to pupils. Parents can gain some insight into their children’s challenges by having an open-minded discussion. Instead of assisting the child, speculating that they are not putting in enough effort for the test will just make matters worse. It may be possible to communicate with parents about additional aspects that may be contributing to their children’s poor exam performance.
Parents can inquire about the child’s feelings or the reasons for their belief that they did not pass the test. Instead of making snap judgments, parents should listen to what their kids have to say. The student may even speak up about other issues like bullying or learning challenges as a result of this. Find out from the child how the parents may assist them in making things better. In times like these, children require their parents’ support more than ever, and a parent-child bond is equally crucial to assisting pupils in reaching their academic objectives.
4. Help them develop better study habits
As mentioned before, there can be instances wherein the child fails their exam because of using the wrong studying means. Studying too little can be the reason why they aren’t fully prepared for the exam. However, studying too much can equally be a reason for the lower marks as well. When students are studying too much for an exam, they can be susceptible to burnout, which can lead to them losing their focus on the day of the actual exam. They can be too tired to even concentrate even when they have already studied their lessons.
Children should be able to enjoy a balanced academic life, just as adults are advocating for a better work-life balance. Even though it’s crucial that students complete their courses at home, they also require downtime and relaxation. Allow them to participate or take part in sports for a while. With all of their bottled-up energy, students will inevitably become restless after sitting in their classrooms. Giving them the resources to release them can also assist the pupils in juggling their extracurricular activities.
Parents can also introduce schedules to the child so they would have an opportunity to allot different activities throughout the day and would have time to do what they are interested in without sacrificing their time for studying.
5. Hire a tutor
In Singapore, there’s no shortage of help in relation to academics. If the parent doesn’t have the time to actively look into the child’s study habits, they can hire professional help from home tuition. Home tuition offers students personalized lessons that will help them deal with their weak areas. As such, home tutors can also give examination-taking techniques to their students to make sure that students can maximize their answers and the best way to approach them.
Conclusion
Although failing an exam can be difficult for children and parents alike, it should be seen as a chance for development rather than a cause for discouragement. Parents should concentrate on offering their children emotional support, honest communication, and workable solutions to help them get well rather than placing blame or comparing them to others. Finding the causes of the failure, developing better study techniques, and even getting outside assistance, like a tutor, can have a big impact on a child’s academic path. Children can become more resilient, and self-assured, and ultimately perform better in the future with the correct support and direction.
Carelle
Carelle is a teacher who has been through the ups and downs of the teacher and learner life. She wishes for every learner to gain educational satisfaction that will help embody the people they want to be in the future.
