How to Deal with Helicopter Parents Effectively
Throughout the course of your career, you will encounter a vast number of students. You will get the opportunity to engage with various needs, personalities, and behaviors with these students. Working as a home tutor will also expose you to a variety of situational challenges, which you may utilize to hone your skills and advance your qualifications. A tutor will encounter a variety of learning challenges because they work with a wide range of pupils. These difficulties may include low self-esteem, a lack of enthusiasm, or even learning disabilities. Tutors would have to deal with more than just students, though. Aside from that, tutors also have to spend a large chunk of their time dealing with and interacting with the student’s parent.
Parents are more likely to hire tutors for their children. Even though the student receives tuition, this creates the appearance that they are the tutors’ “employers.” As a home tutor, interacting with parents is a crucial aspect of your work. As a result, encountering many parent types is unavoidable. We discussed the many types of challenging parents in a previous article. The phrase “helicopter parents” was used in the article. If you are a seasoned home tutor, you are undoubtedly familiar with the term.
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What is a helicopter parent?
Some parents may not interfere with the tuition and instead allow the tutor to work their magic on their child. Additionally, some parents may not be involved in their child’s development. Furthermore, some parents are so engrossed in their child’s development that they want to know every detail regarding the tuition. Because they hover over the child like a helicopter all the time, these parents are known as helicopter parents.
How to deal with helicopter parents effectively?
Now that you know what helicopter parents are and how it might be inevitable for you to meet them at some point in your career, let’s delve deeper into the ways you can effectively deal with them.
1. Understand their motivations
These kinds of parents, like everyone else, have a driving force behind their actions. The drive to maintain control over everything, which regrettably extends to their child’s education, is the driving force behind helicopter parents more often than not.
Because they think it’s a wonderful way to express their love for their child, these parents want to be active in everything their child does or participates in. While this can be beneficial, moderation is key. When a child receives too much attention, particularly in their academics, stress builds up and they may feel too much pressure to cope. These parents may not always realize that they are overburdening their child to the point where it becomes an issue.
Tutors need to keep in mind that this can sometimes work against them in terms of instruction. When parents hire a tutor for their struggling child, it just serves to exacerbate the issue and make the child feel more stressed about their inability to do well in class. But keep in mind that some parents might simply be clinging tenaciously to their values and convictions. They feel that their involvement is an expression of their love and support. For their children to thrive in life, they want to provide them with everything.
2. Discuss how their actions may affect the child
Children are more reluctant to share their thoughts about their behavior with their parents because they are their parents. Some kids will be too afraid to notify their parents because they fear their parents’ reaction or that they would place more pressure on them as a result of them speaking up. Some kids won’t even tell their parents because they’ve become accustomed to it and believe that’s “just the way they are.”
However, since a tutor has an outsider’s perspective, they can tell when the parent falls under the helicopter category. As such, parents may also listen to your position about them being too involved in their child’s life. You can help them understand that while their intentions may be good, they can also limit their child and not allow them to experience possible mistakes or failures, and as such would lower their chances to effectively cope with those when time comes. They can also hinder the child’s adaptive abilities to whatever may come their way in the future. You can also iterate that because of the pressure on them, these children can be prone to stress and anxiety which can result in them ruining their emotional and social growth and self-confidence.
Avoid calling parents helicopter parents outright while discussing the consequences of their hovering. No one wants to be told they are being too much, even though they can truly be one. Therefore, when accused of this, these parents may likewise become defensive.
Parents want the best for their children but their actions should also be moderated. Tutors should speak calmly but also firmly as to how they can affect their children with their actions. They can also give suggestions on how they can stay involved without it being too much. It’s also vital that they understand that too much stress and pressure on the child can defeat the whole purpose of tuition and may even cause more problems for the child if continued as is.
3. Communicate clearly
Before a tutor can commit themselves to teaching a student, they should sit down with the parents and discuss the terms and expectations of how the tuition will be carried out. During this time, you can also set up schedules for the progress reports so parents will know how their child is improving.
This can lessen the parents’ desire to keep in touch with the tutor regarding their child’s development. Parents will also be reassured that the tutor is knowledgeable and that their child is in capable hands because the words are explained and expectations are established. When providing progress updates, the tutor’s willingness to address parents’ concerns might also be beneficial. During this time, tutors can also reassure the parents that they are following their original plan and that they will be able to assist their child.
4. Set boundaries
Tutors should not be treated as though they are always available, even though they are supposed to be accommodating and convenient. You will be working with a lot of students as a tutor. Your schedule can be packed with different sessions designated during the day.
Helicopter parents may not think about their constant messaging and asking about your schedule. Because of this, they may contact you whenever they please and it can get overwhelming at times. When making your schedule, you can include a set time for you to answer calls and emails outside of tuition hours.
Set limits on when parents can contact you for issues after the tuition session and let them know that you also have “office hours.” It helps you maintain a healthy work-life balance in addition to keeping your calendar on track. They won’t be as likely to call or message you for unimportant things after you’ve let them know the time.
5. Keep your emotions in check
Don’t act rashly. They are after all your clients and while these helicopter parents can cause stress for both the tutor and the student, it’s better to maintain professionalism in your line of work.
Allowing the parents to realize their behavior and the impact it has on others around them can change how they react. Some parents might rationally accept it and make an effort to behave differently. Others, however, will get defensive and reject your viewpoints. Although it can be annoying, a tutor must have the patience to communicate with these parents. When talking to them about what they did, lay out the facts and let them know why and how your teaching method works. These parents will only be more inclined to reject your feelings and keep getting overly engaged in the tutoring process if you come out as defensive or unsure, which will make them question your suitability as a paid home tutor.
Conclusion
Nothing really comes easy. There can be many speedbumps along the way to a satisfying career. But tutors shouldn’t be discouraged, especially when dealing with helicopter parents. And especially when it involves the child’s well-being which can also affect his/her academic performance. Still, always remember that parents only want the best for their child and these parents just so happen to think this is the best way they can give that to their children. However, the tutor and the parents only have one mutual goal in mind and that is to help the child reach their academic goals.
Carelle
Carelle is a teacher who has been through the ups and downs of the teacher and learner life. She wishes for every learner to gain educational satisfaction that will help embody the people they want to be in the future.
