How to Approach Bullying
One element of the educational system that is frequently disregarded and improperly addressed is bullying. Schools will eventually realize that there are more important administrative and academic tasks to focus on than bullying. That shouldn’t be the case, though. Bullying can affect students emotionally, cognitively, and occasionally even physically for a long time. If we want to create more capable, empathetic, and well-rounded adults in the future, we must address the problem directly and from the ground up, putting the student’s welfare first.
Unfortunately, bullying can persist despite school policies against it. Bullying doesn’t have to be as ostentatious and overt as it is in movies. Inappropriate and delayed responses can sometimes turn harmless teasing into outright bullying. In some cases, spreading untrue rumors in the classroom can also be considered bullying. Bullied students will either leave school as tough or as hurt and scarred.
Table of Contents
What is bullying?
Bullying is defined as aggressive behavior in which someone intentionally and repeatedly harms and discomforts another person. An act can be considered bullying if it is consistent and intended to torment or inflict hurt (physical or otherwise) on another.
What are the kinds of bullying?
Bullying can come in through different scenarios and as such five kinds of bullying are most seen or common.
1. Verbal bullying
Verbal bullying involves communication, as the name implies. Usually, the goal of verbal bullying is to make the victim feel afraid or to humiliate them. Name-calling, insulting, threatening, and racial statements are examples of verbal bullying. Notably, verbal abuse can have an impact on a child in the same way that physical abuse does. This is a result of their ongoing development and self-discovery. When someone verbally abuses someone, their confidence and sense of self-worth suffer the most.
This type of bullying can also be hard to distinguish. Some bullies will claim they mean no harm for their remarks and insist it’s just for fun, while the bullied may also think it’s normal. Remarks that may seem harmless at first can grow into something bitter over time if not addressed immediately.
2. Physical bullying
More violent than any other form of bullying is physical bullying. This entails injuring their target physically by kicking, tripping, striking, and destroying their possessions. Bullies who engage in physical bullying typically target their victims in groups. Additionally, there may be times when a bigger student makes fun of a smaller one.
Because there will probably be tangible proof of the bullying, such as the previously mentioned damage to the victim’s personal belongings or injuries sustained by the target, this kind of bullying is easy to identify. A child who experiences physical bullying may suffer severe trauma and develop a lifelong fear that makes them reluctant to return to school.
3. Covert bullying
We’ve mentioned bullying in the form of spreading rumors about the victim before and that falls under covert bullying. This is also one of the more common types of bullying in a school setting because it’s not directly done to the victim but to their back. The victim’s reputation takes the brunt of this type of bullying.
Because the sole purpose of covert bullying is to degrade the victim, bullies employ a variety of strategies to accomplish this without drawing attention to themselves or the adults around them. It can include spreading untrue tales, making cruel jokes about the victim, pulling faces, or making fun of the victim when they’re not looking in an attempt to make them appear ridiculous. Because this type of bullying occurs behind the victim’s back or while they are not looking, adults find it difficult to identify and deal with.
4. Alienation
As the term suggests, victims are made to feel like aliens in their environment. This type of bullying intends to make the victim feel like an outsider and usually happens when a group of conspirators (the bullies) precisely make them feel so. Isolation can be a very difficult thing to overcome and if there are people who aim to keep the student that way, they may even have a harder time creating friendships and growing in their environment. This type of bullying can be seen when the victim is deliberately being outcasted whether in school group projects, social gatherings, or even during breaks.
5. Cyberbullying
Cyberbullying is a new method of instilling fear in a person digitally in a world where practically every child has their own gadget. Although the medium is dependent on the online environment, this kind of bullying can combine elements of all the previously listed forms. This implies that victims may get them via instant messaging, chats, emails, and other sources. To further harass their victims, some bullies would even create fake accounts.
This type of bullying is the one where the victim may feel helpless and the type that’s most likely inescapable. Something posted on the internet can never truly die. If the bully continues with the bullying, the victim may feel trapped in constant attacks and humiliation and may think their life is over.
How to approach bullying?
Let’s tackle how to help the child cope with bullying and how can parents help them in this situation.
1. Help them open up about the bullying
First and foremost, the child needs a secure place to talk about the bullying they’ve experienced. Parents must give their kids the impression that they support them. Read them a tale about a similar circumstance or even share your own experience to encourage the child to open up if they are afraid to talk about the bullying incident. This will help the child feel less alone and give them the confidence to voice their concerns.
2. Give them tips on how to deal with bullies
When the child has finally opened up about the situation, it’s now time to give them some ways to deal with the bullies. Give them encouraging words and positive words about themselves. There may be instances wherein the bully’s words get to them and you as parents, should help them understand that they shouldn’t be listening to them.
Also, teach kids how to defend themselves and be assertive when bullies approach them. In other situations, avoiding the victim could also be helpful because bullies enjoy seeing how their victims react. Encourage the child to go to school in groups and stay away from lonely areas where bullies might linger. Helping the child realize that talking to adults is okay and will improve their circumstances sooner is also crucial. Additionally, let them know that asking for aid is never a sign of weakness.
3. Document the bullying incidents
The temptation to report the incident to the school administration will be strong. Going to the bully’s parents would be even more alluring. However, before reporting the occurrence to the authorities, it would be prudent to properly document it. What makes this significant? It will not only strengthen the child’s case, but it will also provide evidence to back up the claim, and the parent will avoid the “he said, she said” trap. Courts require proof for a specific reason; otherwise, it will just be your word against others.
4. Talk to the bully’s parents
After documenting the incident, it’s also best to get the adults involved. However, do so with proper precaution. It can turn ugly for both parties if not done right. Naturally, as parents, they will take the side of their child as you will take yours. Confrontation is a tricky concept all to itself especially more so if the parent is not in close relation with the bully’s parents. However, it also should be considered that confrontation can lead to the parents working together to come up with solutions to the problem.
5. Talk to the school
It’s time to involve the school administration and teachers if the bully’s parents are unwilling to cooperate. They should be concerned as well because these incidents took place within the school and while they were in charge. Parents might request that educators and administrators monitor both the victim and the bully more closely. If bullying occurs again, this will put them in a better position to detect it.
6. Don’t confront the bully on your own
A confrontation between an adult and a child can even be messier. It will not help both parties and can even blow up the issue. As a parent, it’s understandable that you want to fight for your child but it’s not right to get involved especially if there’s intent from you to also bring terror to the bully. As such, you will also be inviting the bully’s parents for another confrontation instead of working together to resolve the issue.
Conclusion
There’s no excuse for minimizing the impact of bullying. A lot of schools have also taken bullying seriously, even enacting policies and procedures to combat it. Additionally, they are raising awareness of the problem through professional speeches and seminars. These programs are just the first step in making it easier to reduce the likelihood of bullying situations.
Carelle
Carelle is a teacher who has been through the ups and downs of the teacher and learner life. She wishes for every learner to gain educational satisfaction that will help embody the people they want to be in the future.
