Stress: Why Do I Get Stressed By The People Around Me?

Getting stressed by the people around us is one of the most common reasons why we get stressed in this world today. We think about why we would get stressed by them, and really wish that stress just seizes. What you might not have realised is that there are many reasons you could be stressed by people and if you don’t properly identify the cause, you won’t be able to find a solution to it. This might be why this thought has been so stuck in your head and seemingly ‘unsolvable’. While this article might not be able to fully cover every single possible cause for stress induced by others, let’s hope it sheds some form of light for your situation.

It’s Human Nature

As humans, we will inevitably be influenced by the people around us at some point, meaning that we won’t ever be a rock towards others’ lives. This means that we might accidentally get stressed by people around us, especially those taking a similar path as us. When they do better, we might be urged to do better too. Likewise, when they experience a downfall, we might be affected and want to help them. This kind of ‘stress’ induced by others is natural, and if we control these natural stresses, it would actually be a positive form of stress. These positive stresses are the kinds that just serve as timely reminders for us sometimes to be motivated by others’ good progress and push us to ‘keep going’ and do better. We should welcome knowing the successes of others with open arms but take it positively. In this way, this ‘human nature’ we possess wouldn’t actually create problems for us, you know?

Insecurities Envelope Us

While stress can be positive and good, it might take a toll on us if we do not view it in the proper way. We tend to not only see people’s successes and get motivated, we also end up letting our insecurities envelope us. This is when we feel stressed by people then subsequently that energy becomes negative and we fall into thinking we suck. This would lead to a lot of self-doubt, self-hate and it would eventually result in the inability to focus on the actual task at hand. When we do get stressed by people and our insecurities engulf our conscious thinking, we need to take a step back and reconsider the bigger picture of things. Everybody is different and our starting points vary vastly from one another. Being negatively stressed by people in exchange for positive change is a decision we try our best to avoid. Think about the good in you, there’s definitely something you’re uniquely good at, and even if you don’t know it now, you will eventually. But it’s time to have a different perspective over the good in others.

Induced By Others

One more common reason for stress by people would be those aggressive kinds. What this means is that the stress you feel is because people tell you things like your lack of adequacy or your weakness. These kinds of stresses are ‘bullying’ stress because they personally attack you. Trust me, it’s really not fair for you to hear such things in such a negative light. If it’s constructive criticism then you should work on it if it’s a trustable person who actually gave the feedback. But if it’s just pure bullying, please ignore their ‘facts’. Focus on your own journey, accept criticism that is reasonable and do not get stressed by those unreasonable ones. Not everyone in this world is perfectly mature to be able to discern if what they say is edifying or not so you filter it on your own as much as possible. If you’re unsure, you can ask someone reliable what they think about what someone else said. But do not let the stress induced by others get a hold of yourself. You take full control of yourself yeah.

Stress always seemingly gives off a negative connotation, but there’s actually positive kinds of stress and FamilyTutor, as a private tuition agency hopes that you get to enjoy the benefits of positive stress and not let it ever overwhelm you till the extent it becomes toxic. It takes a lot of effort to get the stress thing right, but I believe you’re capable of doing it!

Hey, ‘Trailing Thoughts’ is a series that is here to stay. We discuss the big questions in our heads – the journey was never easy but we go step by step!



Zoe is an undergraduate student in Singapore who loves thinking deeply and translating them into writing. She hopes her reflective opinions and sound advice weaved into relevant articles will be useful for you in one way or another!

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