While school is a generally safe place to be in, we still encounter toxic friends once in a while. What should we do when we are put in such an unfortunate situation? We might find ourselves stuck with this toxic friend and unable to get out of such a friendship, but trust me, you can do it! We’ll bring you through some common steps you can adopt in your situation.
To begin off, our toxic friends are likely our friends. By that, I mean we actually probably do care for them in one way or another. Sometimes, when we sense that our friends are getting pretty “toxic”, we try to help them see what they don’t see about themselves. We do so by talking it out with them, and try all ways to explain to them nicely about it. We might even resort to getting closer to them to be able to gain their trust in our opinions. So okay, it’s good we want to help them change to be less “toxic”, but we should not immerse ourselves into this unhealthy friendship for so long as we might get ourselves emotionally or mentally tired. In fact, we might unknowingly be manipulated by them into thinking that they’re not wrong and it would be a big mess if it ever escalated that far. While it is good to lend a helping hand by shedding light to let others see their flaws, know the limits to it as well. Put yourself first.
Moving on, we really need to surround ourselves with good people. Perhaps that toxic friend was once your best friend which you never thought would leave you, but it’s time to leave and find better. There are many good people in this world that would be more than willing to be your friend. Seek comfort from others and remember that you’re doing this for your own good. You don’t ever want to see yourself spiraling into sadness or becoming toxic as well, so to stay afloat you need to venture out to find a new home (kinda). If that toxic friend of yours has really created a lot of discomfort and unease in you, it might also be a good idea to talk to a trustable adult about it. Maybe your parents, maybe your teachers – they will definitely help you if you tell them what is going on and how you are feeling. Just know that the world would not end without that one friend anymore.
As the title has clearly put it, Stay Away At All Costs!!! While it’s good to help people or while it’s difficult to leave a previously really close friend who has turned toxic, it is really for your own good that you stay away! You never know when the person is trying to manipulate you into thinking they’ve turned over a new leaf, then make use of your trust to do something bad again. You never know, because acts can always seem so true. What’s best is to still keep a safe distance with the person, even if you’re still maintaining contact once in a while. Don’t meet up alone and do not immerse into long conversations over text. This is for your own safety, you don’t want to get hurt again. Be firm about this.
We’re all still in our carefree days, where work life is still out of the picture for now. As a Singapore tuition agency, FamilyTutor hence advises you to not let toxic friends distract you from focusing in school, as you will greatly regret it in the future if it was the main reason for you not being able to achieve something you want. Stay strong!
Hey, ‘Trailing Thoughts’ is a series that is here to stay. We discuss the big questions in our heads – the journey was never easy but we go step by step!
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