Today we touch one of the most common questions of the century!!! Should I date someone while I’m still schooling? Let’s just dive straight into it:
In a school environment, there are many reasons that may induce us to consider dating. Intrinsically, it could be about romantic attraction- because we truly value our partner, and we want a committed relationship with our partner. However, in school, we are exposed to other influences, such as peer pressure. We may be considering dating only because it seems “cool”, “trendy”, and all our peers seem to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Or it could also be because the idea of getting attached cures loneliness, which is an emptiness we inevitably feel in school sometimes. For such reasons, the relationship may not be long-lasting, and the breaking-up may happen at the most unfavourable times, such as before or during exam period. If you are not sure of the reasons you want to date, a premature relationship may end up hurting you the most. Should you be considering entering a relationship in school, remember to be honest with yourself, and ask yourself the reason you want to date.
In different stages of school, we possess different levels of capabilities to handle a relationship. Quoting ex-Minister for Education, Mr Ong Ye Kung, perhaps for primary school students, a relationship is inadvisable as children may not have truly understood the significance and implications of a relationship. As we move up to secondary school and pre-university, dating is pretty much a choice that we should make after serious considerations, and perhaps also up to our parents. If your parents are highly disapproving of a relationship while you eagerly want to date someone, maybe more needs to be discussed to understand the rationale behind each stand.
Regardless of the stage of school, our primary mission is always to gain knowledge and study. If you are considering a relationship, the next important question would be whether you can still fulfil this mission while you are dating someone. Of course, you may need to spend more time with your partner and that means less study time. Can you still manage your time wisely and balance the relationship and studies? Can your partner do the same? If the both of you are already in need of help for studies, but are very sure (after making informed decisions) that you two want to start dating, then you can consider studying together, or even going for extra tuition classes together to receive help. A tuition study date can also be a refreshing experience sometimes!
As we consider whether dating will impede our academic progress, we also need to think of other holistic factors. Will dating this person motivate me to do better in school, and make the most of my school life? Or will dating this person make me more reclusive, and withdraw from school, and my role as a student? Sometimes, we may be blinded with the romantic attraction and want to ‘help’ our partner in school, despite the partner possibly having a negative influence on us. It is important to still consider ourselves in this dating life, especially when we still have school to juggle with.
Our parents can be the best advisors, and sometimes we can look to them for wise inputs on dating life. But sometimes, they may lack understanding of our context and situations, or they could even be simply enforcing their personal beliefs on us. At such times, we don’t have to force ourselves to take everything our parents say, but extract the useful and relevant parts. We can also humbly look to other adults or more experienced people around us for advice, such as our seniors or even teachers and tutors.
Apart from all the above considerations, you would also need to think far ahead into the future to see if you are suitable to date now. Will it be a good idea to date even if you are ready? Is there a better time to date than now? Will waiting a bit longer be a better choice for the both of you? In every relationship, there are different factors to consider, and the previous questions are just a general guide for you to refer to. Don’t fret if you don’t have clear answers, you can always talk to your friends about your thoughts, and seek their opinions as well!
All in all, FamilyTutor as a Singapore tuition agency just wants the best for you! We hope this article helps you in one way or another!!
By the way, the ‘Simply Advice’ series conveniently gives you information that is useful any day any time. It aims to shed some light on pertinent topics and provide you with the best advice!
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